Yesterday I talked about the core question I ask my coaching clients.
It’s the reason I’m able to charge $997 an hour.
And hardly anyone has a good answer for it.
Years ago when we got our dog, Coco. We took her to a lot of puppy training classes.
Personally, the classes were a bit of a letdown.
I figured I’d be playing with puppies for an hour.
In fact, it was really strict and very structured.
But – the puppy trainer, she was brilliant.
And she would tell me how every dog owner does the exact same thing.
“The puppies all do something that the owner doesn’t want them to do.
Jump up at visitors, bark at the door, jump on the couch.
All dog owners have complaints about what they DON’T want their dog to do.
So our trainer would ask “What do you want the dog to do”.
And the owners would all say the same thing.
They’d just repeat what they didn’t want the dog to do.
And so our dog trainer would ask them again, and again.
“Look, it’s much easier and more impactful and longer lasting if we train your dog to DO the things you want, rather than NOT do the things you don’t want them to do.”
Positive reinforcement.
And the psychology was FASCINATING.
The owners would often be stumped. “I don’t know…I don’t know what I want them to do instead?”
“If you don’t know, how will the dog know?”
It wasn’t difficult, it just required some specificity.
“I want the dog to stay with all four paws on the ground when a visitor approaches them”
“I want the dog to stay on her bed when we’re on the sofa”
“I want the dog to stay calm and quiet when the door knocks”
We can train things we do want.
Same with people.
Which is why knowing what do DO want, is the most important question a coach can ask.
