You’re more than capable of earning as much as you want, need and could ever dream of.
You might not be in a great financial situation right now, you might be doing OK, you might be earning everything you want. The point, is that no matter where you are now – today – you can do as well as you want.
Many people subscribe to a Freudian model of cause and causality. In broad terms, Freud believed that trauma and your past determined how you would act in the future.
Simply put, if you had a rough childhood with beatings, aggression and bullying, you’d be expected to act in a way that reflects what’s happened to you.
It’s easy to imagine a loner who spends all day in his apartment, terrified of leaving the house, justifying their anxiety and apprehension of leaving his safe and comfortable home, because of a bad childhood trauma.
Many of us have reasons why we do things.
“I think of money like this because that’s how my parents acted”
“I believe this about money because when I was younger I saw this…”
“I act like this because XYZ happened to me as a child/teen/adult”
The problem, and this is where it gets a little controversial, is that trauma or past experience is not the reason you’re acting the way you are. You’re acting, believing and thinking the way you do, because that’s what you choose to do.
We so rarely challenge what we believe and think, and how we act, that we take for granted that we’ll always act like this – because we always have acted like this.
Alfred Adler was a contemporary of Freud in psychology. Jung, Freud and Adler are considered the founder of many modern psychology models. I’m not a psychologist or even well versed in the details, and I’m not going to try to sum up 100 years of research into one post.
However, there is a massive, clear difference between what Freud “blamed” for a person’s behaviour, and what Adler blamed. As a broad rule, Freud traced most human behaviour back to early childhood and sexual trauma.
Adler on the other hand, believed that people act as they do, to get them closer to their goals. If anyone has read The Courage To Be Disliked you’ll see where I’m heading with this.
Let’s take our loner reclusive example above. If someone acted like that, paralysed by fear at the thought of leaving the house, and blamed it on their early childhood trauma or experiences, you’d think that’s a reasonable explanation.
Adlerian psychology makes the argument that our loner, stays reclusive and has anxiety based panic attacks, because it means he’ll get attention from his parents. He knows his parents will worry and fret over him.
So, if he continues to allow and excuse panic attacks and anxiety, he’ll get the attention he craves from his parents. That’s his goal, the attention and focus of his parents.
I’ll admit, it’s reductionist. But it highlights a deeper understanding of why we do things. We don’t do because of the past. We do because of the future.
When it comes to money, or self worth or sales, or income. Do we feel a certain way about charging $45000 for a funnel project because of what’s happened in the past?
Or, do we justify our thoughts and emotions, because we really want to struggle. We want our parents or friends or colleagues to see us as good people, so we continue to act and think in ways that puts us in that status.
Your ability to sell, your value and self worth, your monetary skills, none of these are determined by the past. They’re determined by your view of the future.
You might want to change and even tell others that you’re trying to change, but really, your actions and thoughts are methods you use to get you closer to your goals. The only problem is that your goals are to remain comfortable, not rock the boat and strive for the acceptance of others.
I don’t write this to chide, but to provoke. Are you living the life you really could, compared to the life you think others want for you?
Our reclusive loner above, has manufactured false barriers and reasons to staying indoors. He believes his parents will love, value and focus on him more if he continues to be “unique”.
As soon as he steps out into the normal world and act “normal”, he’ll just be another well adjusted person. His parents no longer shower him with attention and worry.
Do you have imaginary anxieties, used to prevent you from changing? Do you have goals, like parental admiration, that need to be severed or altered? What if you no longer needed, what you’re currently aiming for?
Just a thought. Be good to each other and serve others well.
